Reflections on Seminary
I spent all weekend in a classroom studying the gospel of Matthew with a handful of other people. It was academic study, but it was enriching to my soul. It is a gift to be in Seminary growing as a follower of Jesus and a pastor. I don’t take this for granted even though I do grumble when the alarm goes off way too early reminding me to read theological textbooks, research, or write. School is often an all-consuming grind alongside full time ministry coupled with my attempts to be a faithful husband and new father. Feeling all of this, I found myself reflecting on why I find this pursuit to be an incredibly valuable endeavor. I think better when I’m writing, so I wanted to share.
I left undergrad with $30,000 in student loans. My college experience was fantastic, and I wouldn’t trade for the world, but it was expensive. Knowing full and well that my niche degree in theology and ministry wasn’t going to be a big moneymaker, I still found it worth it to study and prepare myself for service to the local church. I also knew that I wanted to continue my studies but first I had to figure out a way to pay off my first degree; you know, to pay more for another degree that wasn’t going to give me much of a pay raise :). You see, I had finally discovered something about what I was made to do, and I knew there was much, much more to learn.
I began to investigate Seminary – graduate school for pastors, something that this conservative church of Christ boy had no idea existed until about 2 years into my university studies… it wasn’t an emphasis at all in my corner of Christian tradition. I found the costs to be outrageous. There was no way to do it without absorbing even more debt. I was disappointed to say the least and began to feel sorry for myself, real grown-up stuff. So, I punted and waited for another opportunity
Eventually I got married, and with a little luck and discipline Molly and I were able to live beneath our means as we paid off my loans in about 5 years. In the meantime, I grew in my profession as a youth pastor, learned significantly more about who I am as a person, and I continued to have an itch for further theological education. There were questions that I was interested in exploring about our place in the world as Christians and I wasn’t finding many conversation partners. I developed the conviction that more school was necessary for what God was calling me into. Molly and I were committed to not taking on debt for further school which gave me doubts about finding a program. As I reached out to Lipscomb to ask about Seminary, I discovered God’s graceful initiative.
Lo and behold, the theology school had a new dean who emphasized making Seminary more affordable. From the top, they were able to offer a 25% discount to all students in the program. I had enough money and time for one class, so after I was accepted, I registered for the Spring term for one class, not having a clue how I was going to pay for the remaining 23 classes after that.
Fast forward nearly four years to the present, and I’ve still got 8 more classes to go (2 of which I’m taking right now), but there’s an end in sight. There are even financial means to do so. I’ll spare you all the details, but the short version is that God has been faithful, and people have been kind. As I have slowly and difficultly opened up to others (a real weakness of mine) I have found more and more people rooting for me. One of the gifts of being in a small program and going through it slowly is that I’ve had the opportunity to get to know several of my professors as friends. Many of them know my daughter’s name and have supported me when ministry has been difficult. When I’ve run into theological roadblocks they have readily listened, offered advice, assured me that I’m not crazy, and have passed on valuable resources. We are doing academic study, but these men and women have genuinely shepherded me and equipped me for more meaningful ministry. I have taken significant steps to become who God created me to be in this crucible of work, study, formation, and creativity.
I’m writing this blog for myself because I am indeed grateful. It hit me somewhere about 13 hours into class this weekend as I was yawning while fighting through a headache in need of a cup of coffee (unfortunately, I’m an addict). The opportunity this weekend to learn alongside men and women from someone who has devoted their life to learning the New Testament is an immense privilege. School is shaping how I follow Jesus now and how I pastor others in the future.
I’m now grateful that I waited until I was almost 28 to begin Seminary. 22-year-old Josh would have done fine academically but I now have better filters for what really matters, and I also have better questions now than I did then. The fact that I’m squeezing in study before my 16-month-old daughter gets up and occasionally picking up an article to read instead of surfing Twitter or TexAgs (if you know, you know) during a few minutes of downtime has its formational benefits. I’ve discovered that I love learning. Specifically, I’ve discovered that I was put on this planet to do this work and make it accessible for the people who don’t have the privilege of doing what I’m doing. Not every Christian needs a Seminary degree. I trust that I do for the work I’m called to do – not the accolade but the formation that happens along the way, the people I’m learning from, and the tools and conversations that I now have access to.
Sola gratia.
